The Divorce Question

•I Corinthians 7:10-16
•The Divorce Question
10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

(I Corinthians 7:10-11, ESV)

“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18, ESV

    “1 And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them. 2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

10 And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Mark 10:1-12, ESV

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 5:31-32, ESV

“Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:1-9, ESV

“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” KJV

   “And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.” NLT

   “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman Commits adultery.” NASB95

 “Now I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another commits adultery." NET

   And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery." RSV

•  The Problem(s) with this “unfaithful” understanding
• It makes little sense for Jesus to argue what God has brought together let not man separate…except under these conditions
• Why isn’t there an except clause in Mark and Luke when teaching on the same issue?
• Λέγω δὲ ὑμῖν· ὃς ἂν ἀπολύσῃ τὴν γυναῖκα αὐτοῦ μὴ ἐπὶ πορνείᾳ καὶ γαμήσῃ ἄλλην, μοιχᾶται. καὶ ὁ ἀπολελυμένην γαμήσας μοιχᾶται.
• πορνεία = Sexual Immorality [Shorthand for Leviticus 18-20 and similar laws in Deuteronomy]
• μοιχᾶται = Adultery
• If Jesus meant “except in marital unfaithfulness” why not simply say, “except because of adultery?”
•  A Better Understanding
• Who asked the question and how did they ask it?
• Pharisees asked saying, “Is it lawful to divorce ones wife for any cause?”
• Shammai taught that a husband could only divorce his wife if she were unchaste
• Hillel taught that if she burned supper he could divorce her
• Akiba taught if he saw a more attractive woman he could divorce and then go marry her
• If Jesus were saying, “except adultery” he would be saying nothing different than Shammai
• Yet their response is, “Why did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and send her away.” A question only making sense if Jesus meant no divorce
“At that time Herod the tetrarch heard about the fame of Jesus, 2 and he said to his servants, “This is John the Baptist. He has been raised from the dead; that is why these miraculous powers are at work in him.” 3 For Herod had seized John and bound him and put him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, 4 because John had been saying to him, “It is not lawful for you to have her.” 5 And though he wanted to put him to death, he feared the people, because they held him to be a prophet. 6 But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced before the company and pleased Herod, 7 so that he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. 8 Prompted by her mother, she said, “Give me the head of John the Baptist here on a platter.” 9 And the king was sorry, but because of his oaths and his guests he commanded it to be given. 10 He sent and had John beheaded in the prison, 11 and his head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, and she brought it to her mother. 12 And his disciples came and took the body and buried it, and they went and told Jesus.”
Matthew 14:1-12, ESV

•  A Better Understanding (2)
• John taught that Herod should divorce Herodias because she was his brothers wife
• Leviticus 18-20 has the sexual immorality laws (see especially 18:16)
• The only way for a divorce to be truly lawful is when the relationship itself is founded on sexually immoral practices
• We can agree with Paul that according to Jesus divorce is not permissible
12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

(I Corinthians 7:12-16, ESV)

•Main Point
• The main points of these verses are to give us a doctrine of divorce
• The very foundation and nature of marriage is found in God
• The union is to be found in God’s design not our emotions
• An unbeliever may want to leave the unbeliever
• In such a circumstance the believer is not culpable for the actions of the unbeliever
Application Points

• The Divorce Question
• We are not so far removed from the first century as we might think either
• Ever since the fall anything which humanity touches can be utilized for good or evil…including marriage
• The first observation is how this leads to a better understanding of marriage
• Our culture believes two people have an emotional connection and that’s why they get married
• Emotions are an inadequate foundation for marriage
• Let’s say as time goes on I no longer have those feelings
• Based upon the culture I should be able to follow my emotions wherever they lead (Rabbi Akiba!)
Application Points

• The Divorce Question (2)
• Emotions are fleeting
• It shows us the danger of letting our emotions be the only foundation for our marriages
• For believers emotions are not the foundation
• God has brought male and female, husband and wife, together
• It is not in ourselves, but in the design and purpose of God
• This does not mean we do not feel
• Husbands and wives should certainly seek the emotional and falling in love feeling
Application Points

• The Divorce Question (3)
• The second observation is that divorce is not God’s will for us
• To divorce is to go directly against God’s will for us
• It would also be going against God’s will for us to be married on sexually immoral grounds
• Incest, homosexuality, bestiality etc. 
• Those who claim Jesus never says anything against homosexuality are simply wrong
• He implies no such marriage is permissible
Application Points

• The Divorce Question (4)
• The third observation…sex and sexuality are part of the marriage identity
• If they divorce and remarry they commit “Adultery”
• It is the sexual union being taken into consideration and perhaps we should take it more seriously as well
• Marriage is not what the culture tells us
• It is by definition good, very good
• By making it something we invent it lowers the meaning of marriage
• God created Adam and Eve and they became one flesh…marriage is from God
Application Points

• The Divorce Question (5)
• The first concern is that divorce is a common occurrence in our society
• It is founded on ourselves and when the passions fade so do the marriages
• This, however, is not only common in our own culture
• Consider Jesus’ encounter with the woman at the well
“16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” 17 The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” 

John 4:16-18, ESV

“Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. 20 Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.” 21 Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. 22 You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. 24 God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” 25 The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” 26 Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.” (John 4:19-26, ESV)

Application Points

• The Divorce Question (6)
• The point here is for those who have been divorced
• That is not the end all anymore than any other failing is
• There is hope and redemption in the marriage you have now
• Be steadfast in your marriage knowing it is from God
• Paul shows that being married to an unbeliever does not make one unholy
• Your children are holy
• This does not justify the divorce but it reminds us of God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness, and the blessings which we should all rejoice in
•  The second concern is for those who are in marriages where the other is unfaithful
• Both Paul and Jesus say…no
. “7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” 

Matthew 19:7-8, ESV

Application Points

• The Divorce Question (7)
• Moses does not command divorce
• Instead it was allowed
• Is it their lack of grace? Mercy? Kindness? Love?
• In Christ we relearn what it means to have a soft heart toward our spouses who are sinners
• In Paul it makes no sense to say adultery is an acceptable means for divorce
• The pagans were not against visiting temple prostitutes
• They were not against having sex outside of marriage
• Does Paul say, “Leave them?” No. He says, “Stay because you make them holy.”
Application Points

• The Divorce Question (8)
• The third concern is for those who may be in abusive relationships
• People do terrible things
• Our perfect example is Christ Himself
• Following His Father’s will it led to His suffering and execution at the hands of sinners
• The apostles could show you the scars of their faithfulness
• We are called to be faithful regardless if it leads to a prison or a palace
• To say we would all suffer gladly for Christ but not in obedience to Him, seems antithetical to everything we proclaim
Application Points

• The Divorce Question (9)
• Augustine wrote of his mother Monica in Confessions
• She cared deeply about her family's salvation
• His father wasn’t the best spouse, and Monica suffered
• Yet, she rejoiced in being faithful to God and ultimately being the way in which redemption came to her son…and husband
• When we consider Hosea and his call to marry a prostitute
• When we consider God being a faithful husband to a faithless bride
• It reminds us Christlikeness that comes when we sometimes suffer on behalf of obedience
Application Points

• The Divorce Question (10)
• This does not mean that we should expect husbands and wives to die at the hands of their spouses
• In certain situations the Church should encourage a separation, though our encouragement should always hinge on celibacy during the separation with the end goal of reconciliation
• I know some are still skeptical
• You are not the only ones to be shocked by this teaching
• If you expect the disciples response to be, “Wow, Jesus, thank you for teaching us properly about marriage!” Then you’d be wrong
10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

(Matthew 19:10-12, ESV)

Application Points

• The Divorce Question (11)
• What a male response
• He acknowledges it is a hard teaching
• Who can really deal with this? Eunuchs
• Those who do not have sexual passions
• One of the major problems in our congregations, and further our culture, is a lack of faithfulness
• The reason the culture doesn’t have a high view of marriage is because we don’t have a high view of marriage
Application Points

• The Divorce Question (12)
• What would happen if the Church exhibited men and women who remained faithful?
• What would society say to see loving husbands with unfaithful wives and vice versa?
• What would the world say if they should see husbands who care about their wives needs…and vice versa
• How would our children respond to marriage if we should teach it this way?
• What if we were the examples for our children of what a good marriage looks like?
• What if we familiarized them with this view rather than the destruction view of marriage found in the world?
• Maybe they would take more time to consider the character of the person they choose to marry
Application Points

• The Divorce Question (13)
• I think all of this would lead to good things
• The culture is in need of Christians who are obedient and faithful
• Our children can learn the right way from our mistakes
• We know we have a gracious God who is with us to teach us and our children His good ways
• Be encouraged to be the best spouse you can be for the glory of God
• We can be radically transformed as individuals and in our marriages
• Hope that through us the world would see the beauty and wonder of marriage as instituted by God
• That through our faithfulness the world would see God is good
Application Points

• The Gospel of Christ
• Origins
• Fall
• Redemption
• Glorification